Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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