why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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