You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
