Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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