come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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