So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
