CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
