i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
