I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have tasted many bathrooms
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize