good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
there's paper in my vomit.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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