Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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