Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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