cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
