No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
