tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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