He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize