So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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