Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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