Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
