everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
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I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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