I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
