There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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