she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fuck appropriateness.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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