She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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