420 ftw
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All the doctor said was why
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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