FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
