there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize