I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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