I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
