Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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