My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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