First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
