2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
