i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
is that a dick in a sweater?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
