I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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