i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
