He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
