I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
