That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
