Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
