Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
