I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
