if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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