Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize