Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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