So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
