if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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