Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
thus making me awesome and them whores
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
