i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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