What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
