evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
