I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
