The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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