can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
