New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
BRING THE BAGELS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
