I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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