Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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